Colorless Green Ideas

I Was Never That Good with Titles

Skartbardin'
In sitting at my computer almost all day playing World of Warcraft, I've realized that I'm not nearly as mobile as I should be, or used to be. And so I've decided to resurrect an old hobby of mine and buy myself a new skateboard. I've got one now, but the deck is ass-ugly, the wheels have eroded to a fraction of their former size, and the trucks wobble uncontrollably. I've never really had a "good" one all these years ( i've been skating on and off since I was about 14 ), so I intend to go all out and get a quality package, maybe a Hook-ups one with one of those sexy anime ladies on it that im so fond of.

Actually, that is a lie. I have had good skateboards. The first one got stolen and the second one was ran over by your typical wanna-be-black-IQ-of-10-Grand Falls Windsor teen. Yeah, I've had very bad luck with my skateboards. Here's hoping this one will last me a little longer.

It's been too damn beautiful outside lately to not go skateboarding.

The finest pipeweed in all of South Farthing

My girlfriend, in all her best girlfriend ever glory, presented to me this pipe on our 4th anniversary. It has since become the centerpiece of my ever-growing collection of weed paraphenalia.



Possessing this pipe makes me approximately 1/164,000th as cool as Gandalf. Which is better than the 1/256,000th that I was before. I'm still working on mastering the art of blowing smoke ships.

So yeah, our 4th anniversary was an excellent affair, and I'd recommend having one to everybody. It doesn't really seem that long to me at all - I guess that's what happens when a great deal of your relationship is spent apart. But we made it this far, and now it's clear that we are a part of something much bigger than us both - if that makes any sense. It's hard to put into words how I feel about it, I guess.

All I know is that I am wholly, completely, absolutely in love with this girl and knowing that she feels the same about me provides me with an almost overwhelmingly sublime sense of comfort, security, and confidence that I simply can't imagine myself without.

Like I said, this is one concept that I find difficult to pin down with words. I'm sure I'll be talking about it more in the future as it is perhaps the most important and undoubtedly the most treasured aspect of my life, and like all such things it deserves to be talked about.

For now I'll just say; here's to us, and it's only going to get better =)

And now for something completely different...

Assorted Brain Pollution

I rarely make my opinion known on matters such as these; as I consider them to be vile, parasitic pop culture constructs, the sensationalized playthings of a society that is perpetually bored and a media that is appalingly shallow.

I do however enjoy a good rant and this is indeed the time and place to vent.

(A) Terry Schiavo
Make it STOP. Every time I turn on the accursed television all I see is the same painful footage of this poor braindead woman. The media has gone fucking insane over this case for some reason, turning it into some ridiculously overwrought, horribly contrived right-wing left-wing shit-throwing contest. It's none of our goddamned business. But I guess as sure as there are death and taxes, there are insane christian fundamentalists who will put tape over their mouths with the word 'LIFE' written on it, proudly and stoically opposing logic and reason.

I am sick to death of it. Somewhere out there, a woman wants to live out the last few days of her unfortunate life in peace. A woman who is merely one case among tens of thousands. Why is she even on my television? Because people who have absolutely no jurisdiction over her fate can't agree on what should occur? Yes...yes I think it just might be time to move the media gang-bang on.

And let's not forget about (B) The Pope, the extremely dilapidated embodiment of hope and faith and holiness ( etc. etc. etc. ) to Christians all over the world. To put it quite bluntly, the pope is about as close to kicking the bucket as one can be, and dying people tend to have alot of health problems. Their organs tend to cease functionioning. But yet every time the guy coughs it makes international headlines for days.

As if that weren't bad enough they just keep propping his shrunken little skeletal body up in front of tens of thousands of people so he can utter a few unintelligable sentences and show the world just how damn close he is to dying. I'm almost positive that any day now his skin is just going to fall off on national television. Kind of like what happens to the token nazis at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark for defiling the Ark of the Covenant. Man, ain't Christianity fun?

I'm not a believer myself and I'm not aware of the traditions so I don't know how absurd of an idea RETIRING him is. I would think the breakdown of his core bodily functions to be reason enough, but hey, who am I to say?

And then there's (C)Michael Jackson.

Huh? You mean the verdict isn't in yet? You mean there's still a person somewhere out there that isn't convinced that this freak isn't a complete raving fucking child-molesting lunatic?

He barely resembles a human being. He speaks in a beguiling demon voice summoned from somewhere beyond the thresholds of our dimension. He lives on a ranch called Neverland ( Neverland for chrissakes! ) where he openly sleeps with children. But apprently having a few dozen hit singles gives you the security of benefit of doubt when it comes to molesting kiddies, and is cause enough to delay the overly-obvious conclusion with a long and arduous trial.

A trial that's being re-enacted on "E!" because cameras aren't allowed in the courtroom.

They're even bringing out the big guns and giving washed-up boy toys of Michael's another chance in the spotlight; allowing Macauley Culkin and... that guy from the Surreal Life...Cory...Cory Feldman(?) to meddle in the proceedings.

All that, and Arnold Schwarzenegger actually presides as political leader of a relatively fair-sized chunk of our earth.

I mean...has the whole world gone fucking nuts?

posted by Sylpheed @ 11:15 PM