Colorless Green Ideas

A Bright Light at the End of the Tunnel...

Canada refuses to sign on to American ballistic missile defense.

Frankly, I was pretty surprised to see Paul Martin get up there and refuse to cooperate with the U.S. on ballistic missile defense after months and months of dithering and beating-around-the Bush ( no pun intended ). Surprised, but elated.

For the uninformed, ballistic missile defense refers to the proposed missile shield that George Bush and his wacky administration are currently planning to construct in space to protect the country ( and of course, her closest allies ) from nuclear strikes from so-called "rogue states," using high-tech interception satellites. Basically, we're talking about the weaponization of space, mankind's great "final fronteir." The thing about BMD is that the system is currently about as effective at stopping incoming nukes as:

1. Boba Fett is at stopping a Sarlacc.

Or if you didn't get that obscure Return of the Jedi reference,

2. 50 Cent is at stopping bullets.

Or maybe if you prefer,

3. Bowser is at kidnapping the Princess.

4. Julia Roberts is at not looking like a retarded babboon.

FUN WITH ANALOGIES! I have a whole bag of 'em. Anyway,

Suffice it to say, our relationship with the States is a pretty cold one right now. Our refusal to back the media mindfuck war-for-profit that's STILL going on in Iraq left Dubya pretty pissed off last year, and now we're refusing to adopt his multi-billion dollar BMD baby. Toss in some laxing laws on marijuana and same-sex marriages ( among a dozen other friendly Canadian left-wing social progressions ) and you've got one irritated superpower. Rarely a good thing, especially when said superpower is run by an insane christian fundamentalist with a god complex who can't even speak his own goddamned language.

Canada has other priorities right now. While America continues to alienate itself from the rest of the world with its violent, unilateral crusading, Canada is putting its money into peacekeeping and helping to repair what they destroy. We want to sustain life, not end it. Plus, not all of us countries have $400+ billion dollars lying aound every year to spend on defense. In fact, no one does. Concerns over security here in Canada are nowhere near as obsessive as they are in the states, so maybe we just arent that worried about getting smacked down with a nuclear missile. Because hey, lets face it, WE aren't the ones pissing off the rest of the world. Even if we did get hit, it'd only take out a wheat field. Or some snow. And maybe a couple of moose.

Three cheers for Canada, for having the balls to stand up to our southern neighbors and tell them that we don't want any part of their shit for a second, glorious time. "Go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here."

posted by Sylpheed @ 3:12 PM