Colorless Green Ideas

Vive la Revolution!

Now I know upon seeing yesterday's entry you thought to yourself, "omg wtf rofl bbq, an uPdaTe~~!" Well, I'm taking it one step further and updating AGAIN! Wow, 2 updates in 2 days, what the hell's going on here?

I haven't really been doing much in the last month...recently upon taking a break from World of Warcraft I decided to reimmerse myself into society, and actually found the experience to be quite refreshing. Classes are coming along nicely, I suppose...I've taken an active interest in my foreign policy class, which makes up for its needlessly complicated 25-page readings with some of the best lectures I've ever attended. Other than that, I am:

Starving for new music.

A level 46 Night Elf Druid.

Failing miserably in my plan to drink less. However my plan to smoke more weed is progressing quite nicely.

Writing a book.

Contemplating overthrowing the government of the United States and creating the Peoples Democratic Republic of Marcus.

History has shown us time and time again that martyrs are born out of nescessity during our darkest of times. However, since the concept of revolution is now dead in the western world, I have been forced to take the responsibility of toppling this defunct regime upon myself.

The government heirarchy would look like this:

- President of the Universe ( myself )

- Advisor to the President of the Universe ( Gandalf, the White Wizard )

- The Galactic Senate ( consists of the band Interpol, everyone who's blog I've linked from this page, Bruce Campbell, Admiral Ackbar, Albus Dumbledore, David Allan Grier, The bare-footed and bearded guy who's kinda like the Crocodile Hunter but much more intense and much less annoying, Stephen Hawking, and an ape with a typewriter ).

Once a month at around joint time, the Galactic Senate will meet to play Risk, consume Cadbury Mini Eggs by the hundreds, watch anime, and of course to discuss the running of the People's Democratic Republic of Marcus. At the end of the meeting, tribal council is held and someone is fired. The meetings are broadcasted live and recieve tremendous ratings due to their extreme vulgarity, frequent explosions, and passionate lesbian encounters.

Some laws/revisions that I have come up with in order to create the best country ever include:

- All current laws that discrminate against religions other than Christianity are abolished. People are encouraged to practice whatever faith they damn well please.

- Putting mayonnaise on french fries and ketchup on kraft dinner or poutine will be a crime punishable by death.

- Democratic People's Republic of Marcus currency and Canadian currency are equalized, and then all bills and coins are replaced with a system involving space aged "credits." Hiring mercenary hackers and battle cyborgs at the local bar becomes commonplace.

- Gaming will replace baseball as the national pastime. Fat kids living in their parents basements will go on to become celebrated national heroes and role models. Bye bye status quo!

- Many of the bands that you know and love will be imprisoned for crimes against humanity.

- The last 2 ( and by that time, probably 3 ) Star Wars films are pulled off the market. George Lucas is institutionalized for insanity and a much more capable 1970's George Lucas cyborg is hired to re-make them.

- Winter will be ILLEGAL.

- Marijuana is legalized and cultivated in every back yard in the country. In relation to this, 8:12 PM ( or AM [ or both]) of each and every day is nationally recognized as "joint time."

- The internet is reverted back to its original state. No popups, no spyware, no shitty geocities sites made by 13-year olds, just MUDs everywhere!

- Sony will be required to provide me with a free PS2 to replace the $300 paperweight that I currently possess.

- It will be illegal for internet handles to contain any symbols, the words "gurl," or "grrl," and the number 69.

- Defeating opponents such as bullies, monsters and small furry animals will now yield experience points and loot. Also upon death you will be presented with the option of ghost walking back to your corpse or spawning in your bed with a 10 minute resurrection sickness penalty. Unless of course you broke the mayonnaise on french fries rule. No second chances for you, freak.

There are many more, of course, but I feel that this will give you a good enough idea of the direction I'll be taking with my country.

Vive la revolution!

I have to go. The men in the white suits are here for me.

posted by Sylpheed @ 10:35 AM